WMSD : Weapons of Mass self distruction

Cairo (AP) - United States secret special forces working in Africa have uncovered a new and very twisted plot. Somalian pirates have been quietly trying to acquire a nuclear device for the purpose of attempting to stage their own "special" earthquake.

The outpouring of internation aid for Haiti has been a awakening for some there, and the lessons they appear to have left with are shocking. "Our agents beleive several Somalian warlords were going to attempt to hijack the planets symapathy by destroying everything they had not already purposeful wreaked up to this point" spoke one agent off the record. The Millions on millions they could have scored for food and clean water is down right criminal. The President himself was involved in the delicate situation to stop this self distruction and has sought further UN sanctions against the improvished country. A staged earthquake could have destablised the whole of humanitarian concerns in this part of the world.

The initial plot appears to have failed when one Somalian national (pictured above) tried to trade a precious family pet ( and future BBQ center peice) straight across for a nuclear device. Apparently their sense of value is horrible off, but as they become more sophisticated they may make more daring attempts.

Recently a Walmart Flyer from Kansas City arrived dispite the UN embargo on all Christmas sale catelogs to this part of the world, which could turn the tide and unwittenly bring about a truly horrific biblical apocalyspe.